I ran into Donald Trump at Tiffany's where he told me he would win in November and then stiff the country blind

I ran into Donald Trump yesterday at Tiffany's on Fifth Avenue, NY, where he told me about his sure-fire formula for winning the election in November.

“How’s that,” I asked.

“Simple, Joe,” he said. “If I win, I win. And if I lose, I won’t concede – I’ll insist I won. And then I'll win. I will.”

"Come again?" I said.

“I’m a born winner, Joe.” he said. “How can I possibly lose? I’m a born winner. I don’t give up. I don’t!”

I looked at him quizzically.

“You see,” he protested, noticing my disbelief. “I’m a businessman. In my business deals, I always win. When my casinos went bankrupt in 1995, I stiffed my partners, I stiffed my suppliers, and I stiffed my contractors. Then I won bigly more by not having to pay a penny of income taxes for the next eighteen years!”

“Oh, I see.” I said, as I realized what Warren Buffet used to warn me about guys like this. Warren used to say "Donald is a big fake - a scammer, if you know one."

“No, you don’t,” Donald said, visibly piqued. “You don’t realize how I’m the only one who can fix this country. I can tell by your demeanor.”

“I'm sorry, Donald - I didn't quite get you.” I insisted, trying to sound sincere.

"I can make America Great Again. I can. I will." he bragged.

I looked around the room for an escape, for someone I could turn to.

“But that's okay, Joe. You’re a good guy. Good guy!” he said, as he turned away to hug a waiting Sarah Palin who was itching to get to him.

I couldn't stop thinking about how someone smart should teach Donald a lesson before someone smarter does.


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