If President Donald Trump were to be like William Shakespeare’s Prince Hamlet of Denmark, would he . . .

Would President Donald Trump contemplate a fate like that once thought of by William Shakespeare’s Prince Hamlet of Denmark? In Act III, Scene 1 of Hamlet, the prince contemplated death at his own hands but was interrupted by the sudden appearance of the fair Ophelia.

If Donald Trump were to embark on the same thought – hopefully without Ivanka suddenly showing up – these would be his lines:

To be a president or to be myself,
that is the question!
Whether it’s smarter to suffer the brutal
assaults of the trumped-up media
or to assault them and order all reporters jailed
and by doing so be an even bester president.

The pain I suffer from being myself
is not worth the effort, so I think;
But to die perhaps will bring more glory
to this life I’ve already wrecked so badly.
In death there must be peace – hey, there’s the point!
Why, I could dream while dead and win things bigly!

After I’ve shed off this human shell
I can pause and think just very well
of men and mice giving me the respect
I nobly yearn and rightfully have earned.

The insolence of the press – and the aches
and pains that the corrupt media inflict
on my precious ego – are of great concern.
Why must I suffer more? Why should I, huh?
Will the fear of death stop me - a great and
resolute man – from being greater and e’en more resolute?

It’s this kind of thinking that makes one a coward!
Damn – why am I even here? Why can’t I end it all now?
I must be firm of thought – my 2nd amendment thing! –
just point it to my head and pull the . . .

Fuck! It’s Ivanka at the door . . .

Unfortunately, the tragedy (or shall we say, blessing) did not take place. Ivanka happens to be the president’s favorite child and sudden thoughts of the luxury of being alive on earth flooded his mind.


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